YIKES!

I’m known to be annoying to repeat myself but THANK YOU!!! The thousands of messages are piling up! I’ve read about 300 tonight, I have almost 7000 to go…. I am beyond overwhelmed to share my story with YOU!

You are all amazing and make me smile every day! Thank YOU! Much Love and Night Night <3

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The Goodbye

This is by far the hardest post so far. I can barely figure out what to write. I was waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Where the Fuck is it? We got the call: it is time, time for rehab. We should have been “delighted” as they say. Fuck off. Take your cold ass heart and shove it. If you think it’s that easy, you are a fucking idiot. We love HIM. And we have not seen him in a long time and we understand that he needs help.

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“Oh but he hurt you and did all those things to you, why don’t you just disappear for a year” Really?

So? I’ve done a ton of stupid shit when wasted, but I was able to stop, and live on. Alcoholics can’t. And they truly feel bad. That is what is so horrible.

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When he hung up the phone and it was a done deal, he was checking in tonight, his mother was taking him. I would have but needed to be with the kids. I looked at him and said: “Hey, want a shot of vodka?” I’m not driving for two hours, four back and forth, fuck it. Cheers, no need to Ninja me.

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We had a couple. Ok, fine, you are right, more than that. Why not? He wasn’t driving and is going away for a long time. 8 months or so. We cried and laughed. For a moment wanted to run away. But reality is, his demons needs to be fought and I had to, for once in my life, give up. I can’t beat those demons. So I fed them instead. Hahahaaha, Up Yours.

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By the way, do you know anything about tapping phones? I find it odd that my number shows up as a different one when I call friends. And when I group text, his parents for an example, mine and Ninjas conversation shows up? Hm, odd. I am saving those messages. If someone is violating my privacy, I will find out who. And I am persistent. I don’t give up. Ever. I have my bucket list.

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My oldest was distraught. No matter the pain the alcoholic put you through, you still Love them. Almost more because you know what their Heart really is like. You want to help and Heal them. I had to tell his mother to hug my oldest? Something is off with this family. I have realized I have no control over that. Our good hearted alcoholic lost person, drenched in sorrow who has been told what to do all his life. You will be OK. 

My oldest was crying and hugging him saying “I don’t want you to go, please don’t go” Kudos to Ninja, who sat down on his knees and took her by the shoulders, looked her in the eyes and said: “Do you remember when we used to wake up early and make smoothies together, when I was your soccer coach and we spoke about life?” She said nothing. “That is who I need to be. I Love you, I always will. I really need help, and I will do that with you again. Ok? I promise. But I won’t be able to unless I leave for a while” 

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And of course my youngest, almost 4, comes up and says: “Stop crying, he will be ok. We don’t want him to be drunk anymore. He will come back. Love you Daddy” And there was hug between the three of them. My youngest is an old soul.  You can just tell. My oldest is fragile and needs Love. And I had to tell the therapist to give her a hug? Wow. Just Wow. She actually even said: “They will be fine” Let’s go Ninja.

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Not sure what happened to you, but you are cold. Cold. No feelings. My soul is bleeding. “I bleed it out, just to throw it away” -linking park.

I was bawling. And have been all night. Where is that fucking light at the end of the tunnel that people talk about? I just see a longer and steeper tunnel. No fucking light in sight. His parents say: “Don’t worry, we got you, we will take care of you”

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Laughing out loud, yeah right. Like the movie Titanic, when Jack believes Roses’ fiancé and says: “don’t worry, you go, he’s got me”. These people have no interest in helping out. But just like Jack wanted Rose to live, as do I with Reid. Except I won’t drown, and I will be here stronger than ever. Must suck when you fuck with the wrong person. I wasn’t born in OC with a tennis racket or golf club in my hand. I have been through hell and back. I can handle ANYTHING.

I got one phone call saying: “it’s no country club but he seems fine” Oh, I’m sorry, the 73k/month rehab wasn’t the resort you were hoping for?

Are people born cold hearted and stupid or is it a trained thing? Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize he was going on a vacation? The dude is facing a felony and is under the best care in the United States. You are Welcome! The dads side had plans tonight. So wait, let me get this clear? Your son is going through life crisis, there are two children and a woman hurting and you have such important plans on a Tuesday? Scrap ’em ey? I would have. Even for his parents after all this. Because I have something that matters more than money. It’s called a HEART <3

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Maybe we won’t be together once this bullshit is over. I see my life moving. BUT, I know one thing:  You will NEVER get rid of me. I would never keep his KIDS, PLURAL, away from him. I saw the sadness in my oldest eyes when the younger said: “Great grandma gave me a present”  You people will never see Mila unless Zoey is there and I am there to make sure it’s a fair game. I cannot wait for Ninja to be far in the program. He will be out a changed man. I have changed. There are TWO options:

We will be friends for LIFE, or we will get back together. And have another baby. Your worst nightmare. Ok I’m sorry, I had to: LOL. Tennis/golf playing hard knock kids, you guys don’t know me or how it really is to live life. I don’t give up. I am going to show my children what a real strong woman is made of: a heart of love, believing and TRYING whatever you want. 

I am real. I don’t lie. I am not a two faced bitch. I can be a bitch and I will if I have to.

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I am very thankful for the dollars his mom gave me. Thank You! The comment “This is for groceries, it’s not for Botox” was very unesserary, I’m not injecting top ramen or mac and cheese for christ sake. Not sure what doc you see, but you maybe you should re-evaluate if that is what it costs you?

Me, and My “high end life” will continue on.

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Ninja is gone. I should be relieved. No more chaos. No more worries. No more tears? All I did today was cry.

When the car left today, I saw a broken a person leaving. Tears running down my cheeks. Yes, I am hurt, but I can only imagine the hurt he is going through. Compassion. Does not exist in Ninjas family. I’m surprised he didn’t end up 6 feet under. I take credit for that.

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Good Luck Ninja. Your new Journey in life has just begun. And so had ours. I wish you the best. We Love You. <3

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Ninja Turtle Slowly Approaching his Appropriate Habitat/Rehab

Oh Dear, Beloved Ninja, you really need to open up and let those demons out. To me that would be opening the door and say “Bye Bye”. Easier said than done. Once they have a grip of you, you have to put those gloves on and fight. Whatever it is that you are fighting.

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Apparently I am not family as I previously stated. Since I am getting sole custody I am totally changing my youngest daughters last name to mine. If you only knew, you would understand how hilarious that is.  But since I have so many of you out there reading, I can’t put my fabulous last name on this blog. But trust me, it IS funny. Almost as funny as M… Ninja Turtle. I am flattered by the way, by all of you, and the messages. I appreciate EVERY single one of them. Some of you have found me on Facebook. I have no clue how, but congrats. Good detective work! Now just don’t find where I reside. Hence the web, I could be anywhere.

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Where was I? Right, the Super Hero Turtle on PCH approaching Malibu, slowly but surely. Don’t throw it in the ocean. It needs a ride to rehab! Signs to know if it’ is THE Turtle, he thinks he is a Ninja and will ask for a drink. Even if you say No and have some alcohol somewhere, he will Ninja your ass and get it. Turtles sometimes get those super powers. Especially when they really need it. Getting too dry on land. Super Hero Ninja Turtle!

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The whole point to this unbelievably boring  post is to entail that Ninja got his super powers back. He has become the turtle. And his parents only care about that. This is a very sick Turtle. How can you deny how sick he is. They would rather put him in the most polluted sea than give me a check to put him in the habitat where he belongs and that would benefit him the most and make him grow to be the Turtle he was born to be. And in the long run, his kids, himself, and yes me too,  as well as everyone else around  him, his mom, dad, sisters, brothers, you name it, would benefit from him swimming free. Freedom is really something. If you have ever experienced it. I’ll get back to that some day soon.

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I am done. I called the reservoir today. They will make a spot for him asap. So once I get that call I have to locate him. Shouldn’t be so hard. I’m guessing he moved about half a mile.

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I just have to point out, that just NOW, ok yeah, yeah it’s late, school hasn’t started yet, my little was playing with these. Never seen her play with turtles before. Laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco! But seriously, that has to be a sign. Still laughing. Where the hell did she get the turtles from? What really intrigues me is that the biggest one is pink. That must be the mama Turtle. No One messes with the Mama.

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It’s a Beautiful Friday Night. Life is not perfect. Kind of stressful actually. I am so grateful to share it with all of you out there, somewhere in front of some sort of screen reading and relating to all this nonsense. Because that is what it really is. Don’t forget about Your Journey and let yourself drown in someone’s else’s. Let go of the Servant and become the Warrior. Just because you are the Warrior doesn’t mean that you care less. It means that you have more ability to deal with the situation that you are in, which mean you will have the real strength to help the person you are trying to heal. Starts with YOU. And then the people around you that are open and understanding to your transformation. When I was a slave to the alcoholic, I was Ok. Now that I have changed, people get confused. I can almost imagine Ninja pulling his shell up like a dress and trying to make a run for it. Turtles don’t run. You can run but you can’t hide. Peekaboo…

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The Visit from Grandma

Cheers to Grandma! Aka the “biggest bitch in the west”. “Why would we help you? It’s a unique situation. You are not family”.

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She says “Ninja, check in, don’t worry, we will help your family”. All of you out there reading and following this story know what that means. He would check in and I would be left high and dry. Bitch doesn’t know who she is dealing with. I’m sorry I don’t have Taco Bell for dinner. She basically came over to make me feel like shit, beg for support, make sure she still gets to see her grandchildren, her son, Ninja, will still be taken care of by me, and then to go home to her pot smoking retired husband feeling good about herself while not REALLY caring about how she just made other people feel. As long as she feels like she is a “nice” person and is recognized as nice, she can feel good about how shitty she is making everyone around her feel. Disrespectful, judgmental people need to put others down to make them feel good about theselves and their own lives, while never considering how the disrespected and judged feel, no matter how much experience or insight they think they have.  Quote/Judgment from such a “nice” ” “non-judgmental” person…”You got a tattoo? Who paid for that?” So?! I got TWO. “You went to a nice lunch?” So?! I have caring friends who take me to lunch! I’ll buy you a pipe for Christmas.

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Disrespecting me and what I come from is a bad idea. Especially in My Home. I get it, you are Jewish and went through hell. WRONG. You are keeping traditions which I respect and had fun attending. I am deeply respectful to all religion, but don’t think you are better because of it. I am a WItch (and sometimes a bitch). Game on. Me, I was born in Sweden, a finish girl, MY family were refugees from the Cold War. My mom was 17 when she had me. I learned Swedish in kindergarten and had to take special classes to learn the language. Then I came to the U.S. in -97 and I am still here. Where did you grow up? Los Angeles with a solid family behind you, never to worry? Then to Turtle Rock, Irvine playing Tennis? Always with family and support? Don’t talk about life with me, you don’t know what it is.

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Her brothers Wife, whom I consider family, and the rest of that bunch, are so supportive and sweet. Who put that stick up your ass? Is there something you are hiding? Maybe you could use a session or two. Not done by you of course. I’d be happy to help.

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First off, don’t come waving your money at me expecting me to take insults from you. Second, you must be a very good therapist. Third, I am sorry your son loves me more than you and you can’t provide the help I can. She said “my daughter has worked so hard in life” Lol. I want to put her in my shoes and turn back time and she will see what working hard is. Fucking pretentious, judgmental people.

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The one who laughs last, laughs best. Skrattar bast, skrattar sist. Subba.

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Don’t Look Back in Anger

Trying to get through this fucking mess is, I guess American? I will do this, if you do this, I don’t agree. I don’t agree either. I have a lawyer blah blah blah. Why don’t you just disappear for a year? Really? Pooof! Peekabooo!!

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I look after the best interest of everyone in my family. Ninja included. It’s apparent that his family wants me gone. Little do they know, I’m not going anywhere. I live in California and will continue to do so. His brother said: “People move all the time. The military and rich people do it for fun”.

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Really? Ok, I’m not in the military, and those people do it for the country and because they have to. Rich people don’t move. They have multiple homes and staff. What a joke. I get sad. Then I get angry. I have never felt stronger. I will watch out for everyone’s best interest in this case. Well, let me rephrase that, My Family’s best interest. As should they. If everyone helps out it would be so much easier. There is no black sheep in this case. I mean, IF I were to judge, a drunk is developed in the teens. So it’s definitely not me. Let’s just leave it at that.

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His mom doesn’t want to pay for me going out or my two glasses of wine? I never asked you to. What I use my  money for is not your business. His dad will pay $1000 for preschool, I found a free one! Yay, we have extra money to spend on things such as the holidays coming up! Nope, no can do. I have been asked to get food stamps and to move into the bad parts of town into a one bedroom and get a full-time job. Talk about wanting someone gone.

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I was always very nice to these people, I tried to fit in. I never did. I’m done trying. Take it or leave it. If I raised a kid who became Ninja, I’d take full responsibility. Plus I would NEVER let a step dad, or dad, or anyone, throw my kid across the room against a wall. I would also not sit in a room and eat candy in front of my kids and say they can’t have any.  And I wouldn’t drop them off with their drunk dad every weekend knowing he is drunk. So you can get off your high horse, look at yourself in the mirror and old photos, and maybe realize why he turned out this way.

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I also would NEVER throw my little’s “blankie” away. Or put the dog down when she’s gone. There’s a lot to be said. Just get off my back. You did what you thought was good at the time. There is no perfect parent. Just get it and respect people for who they are already. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!

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This whole storm is coming to an end. I hope by the end of the week. So that we can all settle down and focus on what’s most important. In my case, it is my kids and get them school ready.

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I’m not his families’ burden and really don’t want to be. BUT, they seem to forget that their Son won’t be in rehab forever and I will still be here. Kindness and being centered and confident goes a long way.

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You can’t fix your mistakes when your kids grow up. You can apologize though, and say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect parent and I’m sorry for the mistakes I have made. I did my best.” I give my mom props for doing just that. She actually showed up on my doorstep here in the US and said, “I am so sorry.” We ended up having the best summer ever; road tripping, laughing and re-connecting.

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I bet you a million dollars, I will have to do the same. There is no perfect parent and no way to raise a person the way you want them to be. I want the best for my kids. I put pressure, sure. But I am trying the best I can to be the best mother and if that takes a fight, I will fight. We are all our own.

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Cheers.

Late Summertime Breather

Everyone can use a breather. Step out of the chaos, deep breaths and re-energize for the challenges facing you. I took me a couple of days to reach the state of serenity again. Life can truly take over, your mind, your body and cause you stress, which causes chaos. If you are not grounded and sharp, you become a bundle of chaos rather than a bundle of joy and strength.  Which we all know is so much more powerful.

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I’m taking a few days to meditate, and to get back to the WARRIOR state of mind. The Universe doesn’t throw anything at you unless you are capable to deal with. I’m a fighter, a survivor. My biggest mistake in life was feeling vulnerable. Put those gloves on and fight to get on the road that universe has chosen for YOU.

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Nothing is impossible. When I grew up my dream was to live in California. I was 7 years old the first time I told a neighbor that I am moving to Los Angeles. Nonsense. That was what they thought. Look at me now! Up yours people! ;)) Winning!

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Live. Try new things. You never know if you don’t try. Ninja told me he was taught that there is no such thing as trying, you just do. What great advice I must say. I tried wakeboarding. Not my most brilliant skill. I laugh at myself! I look so frustrated in the photos! How could my 9 year old get it on her first try? Well, I tried, and trust me. I’ll go again. I am going to master that board. When I’m not this sore.

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Hope everyone’s enjoying the beautiful month of August. I will take a few days to focus. Chat soon ❤️💋

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Chaos.

A friend of mine asked me for advice last night. “Why do I feel like chaos? I feel like I seek chaos and turbulence in life?”

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Well I believe that chaos will always be around you. In different ways. Problems in life can cause chaos. Look at my life, it’s been pretty chaotic this summer.

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You can never get rid of chaos but you can choose how to deal with it. You can join and become a part of it. It can stress you out. It can make you angry. It can make you sad. It can make you overwhelmed. It can fucking destroy you. And then bam, you become chaos. But you, yourself think you are the freaking party queen. The life of the party. Without knowing that is not how other people perceive you. Like a fucking dumbass. Time for some soul searching and self realization. In time. It’s totally so not cool when you realize, when you have that ephifany “Aahhhh, that’s why they didn’t want me around at that dinner party or whatever you were not invited to.”

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When we were in our 20’s chaos was fun.

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The drunken stories and chaotic parties made us laugh. It was the topic of every conversation. “dude, I got so fucked up last night, I went to Leonardo DiCaprios house for an after party, I went to work in a limo straight from the after party, I ended up with a puppy at home -dude I can’t keep it, can you give me a ride to Beverly Hills so that I can drop it over fence where that party was?” And that was hilarious. Especially if you had done something really stupid. The most stupid thing I did? Oh, there are so many. Hmmm, let me think. I came when I was 19. I had no family here. It’s a blur. Do I regret that chaos? Nope. The stupidest thing I did, looking back now, was driving home after a night out. Someone was looking out for me. I was young, definitely young, stupid and free.

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But the day comes when you naturally leave the chaos. You meet someone, you get married or you have kids. I did all of that and I was still the Queen of chaos. And then comes my knight in shining armor; the King of chaos. It was a match made in heaven. And then let’s throw another kid in the mix. It was a genious idea.  Ironically she came out as chaos, didn’t want to sleep. Ever. But that’s okay, my mom came to visit from Sweden to give us a break for vacation. We went to Coachella. Damn that was FUN. Don’t regret a second of that. Problem is we didn’t calm down. BOOOOOM!! I got so used to the chaos that I couldn’t see it anymore.

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Until 3 months ago when I started writing and Ninja decided to stay at the weenie roast. I had a choice. I could have gone off to Hollywood. But I decided to focus on my kids. And ME. Instead of being the Servant, I became the Warrior. Like everything else in Life, everything can be fixed. Including YOU.

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First off, accept WHO you are. Not “I’m a drunk, I’m a partier, like me for me.” That is not personality, that is a habit. Finding your personality can be hard. People expect so much. Screw them. Since I found my personality, and accepted that I’m a fucking nut job, alcohol was no longer so relevant. No liquid courage needed here. And suddenly you look and enjoy the world in a much more calm, peaceful way. Do I give a fuck about what people think about me? Yes and no. If they can’t see past the trates they don’t like and see how good hearted I am, yes, that bothers me. But I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. If you think a person is worth getting to know great, if not walk away and don’t talk shit.

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For me, finding myself required an outlet. Not taking anything in, TV, reading, movies, I needed to walk, workout, meditate and write. Letting things out instead of in. Chaos be gone.

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Arguing increases intensity. It increases the level of stress. That causes chaos. Maybe that’s why so many lawyers are drunks? All they do is argue. And lie. Back in the day I would have been a great lawyer, I was the master of arguing. I was also chaos. Drinking and partying, fighting for my right to party 😉

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Now, I’m more a believer in the expression “silence is golden”. Go put your energy on something else. Like yourself maybe. Take a deep breath. Relax. Open up those chakras. Become centered. Become You. And the chaos won’t bother you, you will deal with it in a different way that takes less energy and you will see life through a different much clearer lens.

Fuck chaos. Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.

 

I hope Ninja is doing the same and not out there doing Ninja things. He needs to let go of that karate kid and grow up.

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Completely off topic. I can’t stop listening to Elle King. Brilliant artist!! Makes my soul dance 🎶🌟💖

Your Questions

I have said so many times how overwhelmed I am by all the emails and messages I get. I wish I could sit all night long and answer you, but it’s impossible. But the fact that you are all so interested in my story is amazing! So I figured I’d answer the most common questions I get in a post. Here are my answers.

Are you doing this on your own? -Yes.

Who created the layout? -Me. Using WordPress.

What host do you use? -I got my domaine through Go Daddy.

Is it real or fiction? -It’s all about our real life believe it or not.

Is anyone helping you? -No. Hence the typos. ESL remember?

How did you come up with the subject? -It’s my reality. The best way to write, for me, is late at night in peace and quiet from the heart.

Can you shoot me an email? -I will try my best. I get thousands of messages and I appreciate them ALL. Thank You <3

What is your contact info? -Nadia@brutalvanity.com

Can you help me and give me advice? -I can only speak from my experience. I’d hate to give you my immaculate expert advice and it comes to bite me in the ass. So the answer is No. BUT, there is help and support groups out there. Al-anon and AA for an example.

Can we talk on the phone? -NO you freak! Kidding. I can’t share my phone number.

Does blogging take a lot of work? Thinking of starting one. -Yes. Yes it does. Do it!

Can you guest write for me? -Um, no, I just said it takes a lot of work to do your own. Plus I don’t know you or your story. You want a post about Ninja? In all seriousness though, if I run into a blog that I can relate to, then Yes, I would consider it.

Why did you start blogging?

I started my blogging as an outlet. Instead of drinking LOL. Before I knew it, I had SO MANY of you reading. Thousands from all over the world. Which tells me this is a common but taboo issue. Hang in there. Things will get better but YOU also have to make a change.

Alcoholism is a disease. I believe it is contagious, if you live with one, you will drink more than usual. I also believe that it surfaces from the inside. If you have demons or memories and you block them you need numbing. It’s an invisible wound that needs healing. It is unfortunate that there is not enough pshychotherapy programs. Most drunks have lost everything they have and end up in the streets. Rock bottom a lot of times is 6 feet under.

You cannot save them. Maybe they don’t want to. Or the demons are too hard to face and drinking yourself to rock bottom is easier. Either way, it’s basically impossible.

I took a quick look back at my earlier posts and I feel kind of stupid for thinking he would come around every other week. I don’t feel bad for trying though. That is what a true friend does. Never give up. You may be the only person there. At least you will know that. You tried. And they know. And they will project on you. She ate candy = she’s on speed.

It is a life long battle. If you don’t have the strength for it my suggestion would be: Run Forrest! If you do, kudos. It’s not easy. On anyone.

Stay strong and focus on You first. Without You, You can’t help. It will break you down.

Good Luck and Lots of Love <3

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Respect and Compassion

As I mentioned in my previous post, my lovely friend got Ninja a bed at a pretty sweet state of the art, top notch, rehabilitation center. Brittney and Lindsey went there. I’m smelling success!

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I never used to believe in these high end rehabs, but this one I do. The success rate is in the top 10 in U.S. They have only 12 patients at the time, one on one therapy, hot stone massages, water massages, meditation, yoga, pool, fire place, organic food. Add a glass a of a nice red wine to that meal and I’m in!!! Oh wait? No? It’s not allowed??!

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Reality is that these centers may seem like a resort but the program is intense. It’s a lot of soul searching and unblocking memories that brings you down, whatever your demons are they will find. I had them myself. Until another Angel entered my life and I realized “ah, I don’t need liquid courage to have fun”. Took me 37 years. Fortunately, or not, I found myself without treatment. The road to self awareness has been challenging. I’m still working on it. I completely lost myself for a while. Pretty things and A-restaurants and VIP became my focus. Had to always look my best. And put that face on. Pretty damn hard to get a straight line with the eyeliner. Let alone lip liner. I was one hot mess with a double t. With a few drinks. Party girl, who knows everyone, phone rings constantly, invited here, invited there, people asking “can you get me in”. And I felt bad if I didn’t. Time for that cocktail and Hollywood attitude. Success. Every time. Which I now realize killed me. The real free spirit that I am who speaks her mind, with a “mild” temper was drowned in cocktails and false hope of reality. Anyway, enough about me. I will keep tapping into the past and you will see I am not far from an alcoholic. Just a different mess. Different day, different time.

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Ninjas parents are now scared of me. I can not get into details just yet. But him leaving to this “resort”, without wine if I may add, is going to be challenging. I’m ready though. Bring it on! I don’t understand why the hell they are so scared of me? In all honesty though, they may not approve of who I am.  But for fucks sake, if I could make people they way I want them to be, Life would be a party! The world would be bouncing so much the aliens would wonder where the party is at. That’s not reality.

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So why am I helping him get treatment? After the wonderful high end vacation we had this summer? Because I am human. And I like to believe that there is ALWAYS hope. I have compassion and I empathize with him. What a rough spot to be in. I will help anyone in need whether I like them or not. If you have compassion you help, which then results in karma. Easy peasy. Unless you have a stick up your ass and can’t let go of how “life is supposed to be”. According to you. If one being could rule the behavior of all people I would choose Kermit. It would be the Muppet world. I guess that is kind of where we are in humanity though so I’m not so far off.

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Some people get along. Some people don’t. It’s Life. I hate golf, but I have nothing against them and I admire and respect their efforts. Ninja’s parents are golfers.

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My friends in Sweden I have known since I was 6/7 years old, friends here, many of them about 15 years. Some people just don’t get along and no need to push it. All that is needed is compassion and respect and  not commenting on, what to you, may look as flaws or don’t approve of. It won’t change anything. Chaos begets chaos. And arguing. I understand that people around me can’t be the way I want. My family included. What a fucking group of nut jobs. But, hey, they are not me. I don’t judge. I don’t talk. I walk away. If I can’t walk away from you, I will have to deal with it. In a nice respectful way.

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I am who I am and not going to pretend otherwise. Anymore. Ninja told me today actually, “you are different. Like a different person” I said “I am the one you met and fell for. You are different too. Off you go and find that You in there. It’s nice. Calming. And happy”.  Why focus on people trying to live up to something they are not and who they truly are? Differences doesn’t have to be a battle. It can be civil. With some respect, compassion and empathy.

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People are different. That’s the beauty of Life. The hard thing is to accept it. Sometimes you just have to see the forrest through the trees.

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Sleep well my friends. And get up and kick ass and have a Great Day!!

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